True Tech Support Conversations
The following are true stories. For those of you who've have asked me in the past about some of the stupid questions we get at the Texas A&M University Student Computing Center, this should give you an idea:
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
=================================
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
=================================
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
=================================
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
not Bill Gates.
=================================
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it...
=================================
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
=================================
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
=================================
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work...
=================================
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
=================================
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
=================================
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
=================================
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
=================================
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do
I get the circle around it?
=================================
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and
his printer is working fine."
=================================
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don 't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
=================================
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's
still on my desk... sorry....
=================================
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of
the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
=================================
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm
not Bill Gates.
=================================
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can't find it...
=================================
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
=================================
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
=================================
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there
another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does
work...
=================================
Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple,
a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
=================================
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
=================================
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
=================================
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
=================================
Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do
I get the circle around it?
=================================
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with
her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good
point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and
his printer is working fine."
=================================
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the
screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don 't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
posted by cpuaggie at 5:56 PM
14 Comments:
OH...my!
Good grief! How do these people survive?!
Thank you for providing these bits of hilarity, Justinian!
wow...true? really?
This can't be true, unless some customers played stupid as a prank. The dumbest I've face was a woman poking at the computer screen trying to click on something, and someone asking "can I get the internet on disk?"
As a guy working a job similar to mine, you should know there really are people this dumb. If you don't, come on over one day when you're free:) Believe me. People can be this dumb.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
and your point is?
That i found those on three different internet sites, that being one of them. But thanks for posting them, I got a good laugh. ;)
wow, Joe... that was...oh nevermind...
Heehee! That was great!
I thought at first that stuff happened to you and your coworkers at Texas A&M, thats why I mentioned it. I'm sure we could both give a good list of similar things from our jobs.
Yeah, I wasn't trying to give people the idea that I actually heard these at A&M. I just meant to give people an idea of what I've heard in the past.
okay like most of those were completely logical. and what if you were just having a blond day but normally your smart? they were funny, but to tell you the truth i had to read them about three times to get it.
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